donuts

It was the morning of the first Sunday of my winter break.

My uncle told me to grab a plate and choose some donuts. I was shocked for some reason. This is what healing feels like. This is what unconditional love feels like. This is life.

I didn't even ask or crave for donuts. I wasn't even hungry. I wasn't even sure what the purpose of this outing was. I think none of that mattered to my uncle. 

It didn’t matter that I didn’t ask for donuts. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t even hungry. It didn’t matter that there was no itinerary for the outing. It didn’t even matter that it was donuts. The Mister Donut was just casually there and your uncle told you to choose because it’s a fun activity and because he wants to buy you donuts. 

I know for a fact that I overthink it. But it mattered to me. 

He asked me

To grab a plate

Choose the donuts

And we just sat and shared donuts and the conversation was a mixture of funky politics & life philosophy

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The topic of detachment came up out of nowhere after the 3rd donut.

He told me that whether it’s loving someone, starting a business, or pursuing anything else, the principle is the same: you pour your whole self into it, love and do it with everything you have. But you keep your core and your mind firmly at the center—untouched by the outcomes of all your loving and doing.

Which means, detachment.

You love with every fiber of yourself and you are honest with everyone involved, including yourself. But when something happens that signals a failure, it’s okay. Not because you have to accept everything, but because it happened and you are still you.

You were fine before it all? You can be fine now too.

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The donuts were too sweet and the coffee was not that good. We went on an aimless walk and I told my uncle that I want to be a monk one day. He approved.

24/12/22